Had a different kind of Xmas this year! : )

Work kept me buzzy till I fell sick LOL.

Met up with one of my ex colleagues on Xmas day itself for tea and gift exchange. Went over to my colleague’s church for movies in the evening.

Went back home and developed high fever LOL.

I am still touched that BFF bothered to call me to offer me advices and reinforced on what I should do.

Though at times I do feel weak : )

Support Local Productions : )

Looking forward to the show, cos of the male lead (LOL), and we did loan some apparels for the female lead : )

Went for Ba Zi reading the other time, as I felt I am at the cross junction (opps sound so auntie).

Feels therapeutic cos the “fortune teller” listens to your problems and offer “rational and realistic” solutions.

It is when he says I am “complicated and challenging”.

I guess guys come and go because they think I am “challenging”, yet I do give away my heart “easily” to a certain extend. Hahahaha, opps!

* * *

My characters that I should follow:
-  Honest, Trustworthy
-  Tactful and selfless to gain more merits
-  Need to be positive and avoid pessimism
-  Faithful in r/s, which is important to keep r/s intact.
-  Have mercy towards the surroundings
-  Helpful and honest
-  Should withstand your strict and demanding self by opening up your thoughts and avoid suspicion which will cause doubt and create negativity.

-  Frank with a good character
-  Need to show people the positive side of you and your sincerity will be able to achieve it.
-  Learn fast
-  Gentle and fun-loving
-  Should cultivate better expressive intelligence to be recognised by people
-  Stubborn and strong-willed
-  Dislike being taught by people and have a proud character at times
-  Need to be more ambitious to hold what belongs to you.
-  Need to be selective of friends around you. There will be poeple who will betray you and hurt your reputation.
-  Love to learn
-  Lack commanding power
-  Will pamper kids, but you need to spend more time with them.

Relationships:
- In your 10 years luck cycle (23 – 32 y/o), you  will have numerous r/s which are difficult to maintain
-  You have to be wary of men who has intentions
- You must be sharp and conscientious to choose the right partner
-  There will be a good chance to meet the right one in 2011 but the chances of fulfillment needs lots of effort

Jialat.

I am already 27. But I don’t have numerous r/s leh. And I don’t want lo.

He says I always choose the less-than-good people, when I can have better selections.

But I don’t think so lo. And yes, he says I had better choose a non-Singaporean. He didn’t really say if I will get married, but he says there is chance after 30 y/o if I don’t let the right one go.

Opps.

You are beautiful, but you are empty. One could not die for you.

To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you–the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing.

Because she is my rose.

- Le Petite Prince

* * *

Opps, sorry, I am back after a state of confusion and vulnerability ;p

话总说不清楚该怎么明了
一字一句像圈套
旧帐总翻不完谁无理取闹
你的双手甩开刚好的微妙
然后战火再燃烧

我们背对背拥抱
滥用沉默在咆哮
爱情来不及变老
葬送在烽火的玩笑
我们背对背拥抱
真话兜着圈子来乱绕

即使想让我知道
即使想让你知道爱的警告

话总说不清楚该怎么明了
一字一句像圈套
旧帐总翻不完谁无理取闹
你的双手甩开刚好的微妙
然后战火再燃烧

我们背对背拥抱
滥用沉默在咆哮
爱情来不及变老
葬送在烽火的玩笑

我们背对背拥抱
真话兜着圈子来乱绕

即使想让我知道
即使想让你知道爱的警告

我不要一直到
形同陌路变成自找
既然可以拥抱
就不要轻易放掉

我们背对背拥抱
滥用沉默在咆哮
爱情来不及变老
葬送在烽火的玩笑

我们背对背拥抱
真话兜着圈子来乱绕
即使想让我知道
即使想让你知道这警告
只是想让我知道
只是想让你知道爱的警告

Merry Xmas.

This song is oh-so-romantic : D

* * *

Every time we say goodbye
There’s something breaking deep inside
I tried to hide my feelings to keep myself controlled
But somehow I can’t deny what’s deep inside my soul

I’ve been always on the run
So many different places, having fun
But like a river always knows just where to flow
Now that December comes I feel like coming home

It’s Christmas in my heart
When I’m with you
No matter where we are or what we do

Tomorrow may be grey
We may be torn apart
But if you stay tonight
It’s Christmas in my heart

I don’t know how to stay alive
Without your touch without you by my side
Just like the desert’s always waiting for the rain
Oh baby, I wish the holy night would come again

Everywhere I go and everyone I know
Is making lots of wishes for old Santa Claus
But all I really need tonight
Is for you to come and hold me tight
What is Christmas without you here by my side
I need you tonight

I thought I would be able to come back to the dating game pretty soon.

After all, I “enjoy” playing mind games with guys.

But now I feel so tired.

Every sentence said by each guy now just reminded me of how the ex bf used to text me to initiate conversations.

During that time, whenever he sms-ed me, I’d smile. I seriously do not know what made things change. I have no idea if there’s anymore feelings left. I also do not wish to think further because I feel there’s just no light at the end of the tunnel.

As much as I love to settle down, yet I wish guys do not disturb me at the moment.

Cos I don’t think I am ready to start the get-to-know-u-try-to-fall-in-love-and-start-mind-games process.

Yet.

I ain’t pretty you know. I just love makeup.

It’s just so amazing that I met a guy who said “if I don’t have a girlfriend, I am sure I can get you if I pursue. bcos I am not like other guys. I can break down the barrier you create”. He said my problems / situation is interesting / challenging.

And yes, he says I need a stable guy who is non-Singaporean.

Wow. I am amazed. Must I really marry a Malaysian? LOL.

But no, really no romantic feelings involved cos he is really in a committed relationship.

It feels amazing that I feel as if I found a friend in a stranger.

What’s more amazing is that our lives and personalities are very much alike.

It feels warm to find someone similar in this “transition” period for me.

I believe I will find tranquility and a clear mind soon : )

Have you heard of the Love List that was featured on Oprah?

Here’s mine long list teeheehee:

1.  Strong willed, confident, secured and courageous to make me believe
2.  Dependable, down to earth and matured in thinking
3.  Honest, loyal and trusting
4.  Kind hearted with a dash of child’s innocence
5.  Loves life and lives with passion
6.  Humourous and does not take jokes seriously
7.  Makes me laugh out loud 80% of the time
8.  Great chemistry that pulls me closer everytime
9.  Enjoys “little squabbling” but gives in to me ;p
10. Sensitive to my mood changes but not overly sensitive
11. Believes in constant self-improvement
12. Appreciates simplicity and tranquility in life
13. Positive outlook in life and spread the vibes to me – make the best out of what he gets in life
14. Strives in his career

15. Thoughful towards others and tactful in words
16. Puts me on priority; does not neglect me despite being busy
17. Shares my life, my passion, values and respect them
18. Likes Muji and Japanese culture (muahahhaha)
17. Loves my friends and close ones
18. Committed; Believes in a stable r/s that runs deep and lasting
19. Able to make me see love from both of us through his eyes
20. Values communication on daily basis; Lets me know his schedule beforehand
21. Makes me feel safe and protected with him
22. Loves my flaws
23. Broad shoulders and loves me resting my head on his shoulders
24. Big and warm hands
25. Loves to kiss my hand and forehead
26. Loves to hug me
26. Loves wearing manly cologne
27. Square jaws
28. CUTE TUMMY (LOL)
29. Loves holding my hand wherever we go
30. Drives a car and loves to hold my hand while he is driving (opps, dangerous I know)
31. Loves to eat cookies, cakes, chocolates and confectionaries
32. Loves to have a wife who stays at home after marriage
33. Determined and keep putting in efforts to make things work
34. Loves to eat mints
35. Loves French movies, museum trips and anything Arty
36. Loves Chinese tea
37. Loves Hoegaarden and red wine
38. Loves Chinese pop, and appreciates Jay Chou, Show Luo, JJ and ZChen
39. Loves my passion in my work : )
40. Knows my favourite flowers without me saying (there was one who was really close )
41. Loves celebrating Valentines Day, Xmas, and yearly anniversaries
42. Loves telling me sweet words that are truthful.
43. Believes there are girls who are non-materialistic
44. Drops by to visit me at work
45. Able to let me run with him wildly, but I know I will be safe : )
46. Pampers and dotes on me like I am the only gem in this world
47. Enjoys sitting in parks, Esplanade, Marina Barrage or Henderson Wave and have quiet talks
48. Loves language
49. Intellectual
50. Able to try understand from my point of views
51. Loves sending me home (to my doorstep)
52. Non-critical of me and my actions
53. Showers me with care and concern, especially when I am sick
54. Believes in communicating problems and unhappiness to make things work
55. Does not run away from problems – no MIA
56. No verbal, emotional or physical abuse

如果你又在搞暧昧
如果你又让谁依偎
如果你觉得很疲惫
有太多约会要分配
如果偷吃也不擦嘴
一次又一次的
无视于我的心碎
骄傲麻痹了感觉
又是那第一千种老套理由
绝对不再让你蹂躏我的宽容
因为你不配拥有

一个人独自生活
好过两个人寂寞
不需要强求
少了你我反而
多了份轻松

一个人信仰自由
那也没什么好说
不需要挽留
下定决心说声再见了没用
如果你人在我身边
如果你心又想着谁
如果你觉得我累赘
挡住你那片桃花园
你不用再回头
别奢望看到我为你泪流
从你的自负里解脱
我已经等了好久好久
请你走

下定决心说声再见了没用~~